`Everyone's living in a disguise, to hide what they have got left behind their eyes`

2012-02-07T18:24:00.001+08:00

I love my fat face boyfriend! Sooo cute~~~ Teheeeee

My friend is getting married in marina bay sands next year and she said I am invited! :D

Sometimes I wonder if ray wants to marry me... Being the ridiculously hot tempered & fat gf, I do doubt my ability to get married! But anyway, the world ends in 2012, so let's not get so carried away with life after death. Woo!

An aimless day

2012-02-07T16:20:00.001+08:00

Sihui is coming over for our TOM YAM FEAST!!! She bought our favorite crab meat, hot dogs, vegetables, cheese tofu, egg tofu!

I'm an iPhone addict! Had been downloading a lot of things from App store & being ridiculously free. I guess my face says COUCH POTATO.

I need to get employed!

2012-01-08T23:40:00.000+08:00

You told me you are who you are and wouldn't change; if I don't like it I can leave.
I can't believe that I'm the fool again.
Maybe I wasn't the privileged one in your life.

Grenade sound so true to us now.

All that changes to who I am now; for nothing.
I changed drastically, but not you
because I'm probably not someone that significant enough.

Naive is the correct word to describe me.

Last straw

2012-01-04T15:48:00.001+08:00

The more movies I watched, the more I feel that my life could be improved and I need not live in such poverty or restricted form of freedom. Yes, I believe that at 22 years old, I am able to make my own decisions as I agree that I'm wise enough. Honestly, I need a damn holiday. No, no - not to play or go havoc but to relax and rest my mind. It's crazy anough when you need to fucking report your actions done to your mother who believes that money is higher valued than yourself.

Thanks mother, for showing me how unworthy you are to be mine as all you care is about money and that I can elope with a "stingy bastard" - my bf for you don't not care if I give you my money. Sorry, your words made me truly felt that money is the only reason you're bringing me up. To be real honest with myself, even if you get a stroke, or illness or death (as you always hoped for) is not gonna make me more guilty than killing an ant. I do less value your existence than mine as of now because my presence is not even comparable to the money you believe belongs to you.

You brought me up with the expectation that I am gonna support you like a rich tai-tai. Sorry, you did not give me freedom nor the money to let me do the same to you. I won't forget the treatment I received from failing at exams, having an ITE bf, going home late, being fat or retaliating for your harsh abuse. You forgot how you used to abuse me like a depressed mother and I could do nothing about it as I felt bad for scolding you back. But thats all in the past. I'm moving on in life. The reason why I didn't look for a job is not because I am lazy, but the ultimate stress I felt having to do housework or anything you requested. I am sure I am more filial to you than anyone else. But since you did not learnt to treasure me, I shall go forth in life and don't care about you anymore.

Every relative you had kept trying to tell me to compromise with you. After you drove off brother, you still had not learnt your lesson. Yes you did not drive us away but your constant cursing and swearing were enough to drive us out long ago. We did not take your money. The government put it in our bank accounts. It is ours by law. You said I became a bad girl after knowing ray. No I did not. He told me to try to humour you whenever you're angry but now you're discriminating him like he's not worth a cent. I would like to tell you that his family is rich although he appear like a stinky gangster who smokes. Dad is a heavy smoker too. Why were you married to him?

After months of struggling with you and trying to make sure that you don't commit suicide, I decided to let you go. I hate it especially you said I was finding excuses not to return you money when I merely told you my feelings. You said you don't care about how I feel and just wanted the money back in your account. Thank you so much for shutting me up. Finally, I knew I'm less valued than the stinky money that you preferred. If I had been a bad girl, you would have had a stroke long time ago. I spent 1.5K trying to please you for cny but to no avail. It's okay, I have fulfilled my role, you just do not know how to appreciate me. It's your choice that drove us away. You wanted to rent my room to share but when I said I don't feel comfortable sharing you flare up at me. DO you ever try to compromise with me at all? So why should I do it?

Your actions are like those of Hitler - anyone that displeases you shall get it. We're the commoners, you treated me like a prisoner. You have no idea how disgusted I felt going out with you thesedays. You told me to cancel my work at carlton as its a LOW CLASS job as I'm a diploma holder. I agree that it may not be the best job ever but I like it there - with my friends. It's only a damn part time. You used to work there. You are far too much in criticising people when you forgot to look into the mirror that you are worst. I did not mean to demean you but look at yourself now, aren't you like a black pot calling the kettle black?

I felt like a pathetic person with childhood memories and worst teenage life ever. I found a rich and clever bf and you loved him and said it was my fault for breaking up with him. Do you ever feel for me? Since its a no, why am I working so hard to try to please you. I find no purpose in trying so hard. You claimed that I did not tell you that I'm going out. Oh please, I'm already like TWENTY-TWO. I can go partying at night till late and come home and being a bitch to slam things around like I'm the queen. I tried being obedient and I think I am until you blew it off.

I am flesh and blood still at home because I didn't want you to be left alone. I can tell you now that my heart isn't here anymore because you drove my heart away from this freaking house. I am oh-so-damn disappointed by you. I'm not bringing my heart back anymore. I'm just gonna fulfil my role as a daughter and thats it. I don't hate you, I told you I need a break but you didn't care. So I'm gonna ignore you so getting into less dispute with you. Thats all I can do. I'm sorry I am unable to be nice to you anymore but I shall say, you caused the family to break but you're doing nothing to salvage it.

Why should I there for you when NONE of the times I needed you and you were there? Instead you pushed me further. I helped myself up. It's not revenge, its knowing who are the minor roles in my life. You're the my creator but it does not mean I should spoil you. I'm over with you.

After typing it out, I felt much better. I will be responsible for my own life and actions from now on. I'm depending on no one. I have a good bf who dotes on me a lot. If ever one day he decided to leave me, thats my problem. I need no one to tell me that they predicted long ago. Stop acting smart in front of me. I don't take that as you're a fucking genius. I'm gonna re-create my world and move on away from the person who almost ruined it. I'm picking myself up.

2011-12-08T11:31:00.001+08:00

I'm still forever waiting for a job. I hope spf wants me. I'm excited! Hsbc offered me a $1800 for 6 months. No more off days with piggy D: Working at carlton drains my energy dry. I'm no longer the 18 me. It's pretty much making me a singaporean - Kiasu.

Super junior, kpop stuff, all in my head. Currently - Kara - step. Crazy. My mad mom found out about piggy and bird's rom - through facebook. I didn't know she had one. She can't even use the god damn computer to have a FACEBOOK. Some bloody aunty bitch must have informed her endlessly about it. 3 years with piggy but mom still hates him. *groans* I hate explaining myself.

He's like a beng with endless bad habits but I love him. So whatsup?! No one's perect, like me. I have a pretty face but the body is like a big. Pointless right? Ya no one loves fat bitch but piggy does. Ahhh it doesn't matter. I'm not choosing between a bf & a mother. It's plain ridiculous.

Twilight series seems to please me alot. I bought a damn book to read. Great, 3 more thick books to complete. I have to start reading to improve my english. It's degrading fast. From a B to a F. I'm forcing piggy to speak more english. I'll go crazy if I can't write an essay properly. Seriously: CRAZY.

I've tons to type but the painter's here painting my door. The thinner had engulfed my room with the thick fainting smell. I think ammonia smells better. Oh god. I hate it. kk. goodbye.

Lastly, im still in love with my birdie wahahahaha. Thats shall piss the hell out of piggy. Shall poison piggy's meal today. Make him dream of birdie. I have 2 birdies by the way

.Y.

2011-11-10T10:32:00.001+08:00

Its been eons since I last blogged again. Life still sucks. Everything is getting worst at home but I don't give a fuck anymore. It's rubbish. I'm totally disappointed at home with her.

I'm getting fatter by the weeks and its irritating that people mock at you every other day and you got to keep being friendly by smiling and laughing at their mockery at yourself. Life is getting stranger by the days. It's disgustingly fake.

I decided to blog once again taking to no one because I thought I need a place to express my thoughts to no one in general as it isn't the in thing now, considering my age at 22. The purpose is never to show of my life but to vent out on a platform where it pleases me a lot to type, acting like I have an audience. Okay, I sound horribly emo-ied.

In an hour's time, I'm going to have buffet at Marriot's with my brother and his wife. It's a fattening session even when I have enough on me already. I'm drinking tea but I'm lazy to do it. It makes my stomach so bloated and always rushing to the toilet. I'm even lazy to shit. Haha, sounds like a big ass couch potato, lazy for everything.

Daniel wong now is a married personnel. I haven't been the best wedding planner but well, I did try what I can do within the non lazy range of me. Furama hotel!

It's sending resume time! 30 more minutes to preparing my god damn body and face for the buffet & own window shopping later. I'm VERY used to being alone shopping. Ray is seldom free for shopping, friends are working or studying. Kind of fucking sick of asking people out.

People change when they grow up. It gets lonelier by the years. My birthday in 3 days time. But I'm feeling no excitment at all. Even hy1 says, "Do what shit on Sunday?" I rather go out alone one Sunday than to think of shit to do. My birthday is shit.

2011-09-08T00:30:00.001+08:00

I'm already left with 2 freaking papers - HRM and ESAP.

So not prepared. Sigh~

Indeed, these few months, many changes to my thoughts

I wonder why is it that as we grow older, things change much faster

I hate it when my mom calls me every single day at barely 9 to ask me where I am and what time am I coming home. I hate to repeat everyday. Even though I'm only 22, I'm constantly thinking about money issues daily. I feel so unfortunate somehow.

To talk about many things, I have far too many words to type. However everything leads me to think about only: Who can I sincerely trust in this world?

Why is life so difficult? I guess values and living in the corrupted and practical world, there is no more values. You lose yourself in the sea of sins. It's not important anymore, regardless who's having good values. It's about money. Why Why Why.

2011-04-27T14:15:00.002+08:00

Exams is in 7 days time! I'm so not prepared. Honestly, it cracks me up totally when I feel both the stress of not studying enough and having "forced" to fulfil commitment. Fucking tuitions, fucking work, time is never enough. I mean IF those shits are finishing early, I could have studied. The worst part is that its not. Its stuck in the middle like 3pm till 5pm then plus a bomb at home I would reach home like 9pm, wasting those time outside. I mean I really wished I could do the things I wanna. I'm so fucking 22 years old yet I'm getting restrictions. I COULD ignore them for nuts but well, there's consequences.

I had dinner & chatted with sihui from 7.30 to 10 (at my neighbouthood area) and by the time I got back, my mom told my aunt that I deserve to be scolded. Wa lan eh, I go have a chat with my friend, wrong MEH?! I was nearby leh! This is a fucking ridiculous issue la! Which child would get scolded over this trivial issue? Everyone seems to think I'm mistreating my mom! But hell! If you get scolded over such small issue, don't tell me you'll still be patient with her JUST BECAUSE she gave birth to you. BULL-SHIT. I told my aunt that I can never face her with such care and loving concern to help her when she's sick because I can't do it to a face that HAD tortured me mentally so badly. Ray's concluding I'm gonna go insane for this!

My uncle scolded her for scolding us so crudely that we didn't want to go home. The disappointing response instead of repenting was that she mentioned that if we can't stand her simple nagging as a mom should do, we might as well go kill ourselves. Point is: She didn't mention any part that she is wrong in scolding us & that she should live and we should die. I perceive that my life is as important. It simply brings me to the conclusion that she treats us as investment. She wants interest and the original sum she invested.

If she's trying to help me save the insurance money for future use then I will be happy but hell no! Its to lend people who are in need and for household. While my brother's sum lies happily in the bank for his future. Thats what my dad left for ME and not her. She said its ALL HERS. Justice please. If ever we fight in the court, its definitely me winning and her off to jail because I will conveniently sue her for abuse. I don't want to be anywhere near being this ruthless. She forced me into it. She take away everything, from basic need of freedom to money to everything. Probably I would inform her that minds aren't as stupid as those born in her times. I have a brain to think for myself. Everytime she mentioned that everything would eventually go to us when she dies, the only thought I have is, what if she never dies. Yes yes, unfilial. But hell! I have pride I can't wait till she dies to get MY money. Funny how people think they could control people. She failed at wanting me to be obedient.

People change, me too.

2011-03-29T23:31:00.003+08:00

I hate lies, I hate being insecured. This feeling is not what I seek for when I started out the relationship. I dislike changes. I could cry a bucket of tears now. Saying I'm over sensitive is as good as asking why men have hairy legs. Full time makes us worst. I feel like I'm forcing you to meet you. No, I have been dumb. You don't seem to include me in your priorities. I feel left out of your life. Recently, there has been way too many butterfly knots in my stomach. I don't like to hide my tears when I need to cry. Fb is too dangerous to let anyone know what I am about to write. All I wanna ask is, do you still love me?

2011-03-25T22:51:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel like downright fool. U said u knock off at 5pm then I said I want to meet u. A while later u told me u work until 6 plus then i said tmr then meet. At 8.30, I text u asked if u finished work already. U told me u have been home since 6pm. So what is this? I understand you're tired but then cant u text me say you're otw home, too tired? It's very simple and I don't think u take 5 mins to get home. The time is sufficient on a short message. It did feel like you didn't wanna meet me. I hate this feeling but I know you're tired. I hear this almost all the time. U post on fb saying your off day but not like off day. So, ya I've decided not to meet you until you feel good to meet me. I'll stop being a fool & stick around all day. It makes me feel sick of myself. Men change, they always do. I'll stop trying to be a good gf. I'm used to being ignored and all. This is nothing compared to everything else.

2011-03-22T13:35:00.002+08:00

I'm so glad that hew is working full time now. He gets more time with me after work & I am just so happy! About 5 more weeks to exams! I get insomnia every night and I seriously look like a big fat panda now. I'm rejecting meet ups because I am super super tired & worried about exams. I do not want the same thing to happen again because I'm afraid. I just appear to be totally fine regarding exams.

Tomorrow is hew's off day for the week! Yes ah! Everytime I meet him, I get little more fatter hahahaha. Kk, I miss old striving strong sherry. I smile even lesser these days and it makes my face look even stone-r than usual.

I have:
Pink earphones
Pink phone
Pink chairs
Pink lipgloss
Pink piggy bank
Pink wet tissue

For the first time in my life, I have so many god damn pink items!

2011-03-01T15:11:00.004+08:00

走了这么远才发现你不在身边，
总觉得我和你的距离很远。
我已不是你那完美的对象了。
从你的眼神，我感到好陌生，
别告诉我我想太多，
为何你不来安慰我？
我没告诉你我的心声
因为你总是太累或太压力
可是你却怪我藏在心里。
你说的对，这样的感情哪会长久
因为在你心里我因该根本没资格吧
就连哭都是我的错。
我已开始怀疑你对我的爱还剩多少
再需要你的安慰和拥抱也不敢告诉你
因为每当我哭你都说我无聊
不知从何时，我不再爱自己了

2011-02-28T11:51:00.004+08:00

Probably the only platform I could express freely since no one reads, which is damn good. Last night was supposed to be a happy & fun night with steamboat. However, things took a sour change. I don't exactly understand fully but I know the atmosphere was filled with frustration & uneasiness. I had just lost a very fantastic friendship. As a "strong" one, I hardly show much expression. But today after reading the text, the well-controlled tears actually burst. I felt that it hurt just as much as losing a bf. A bff is a female version of bf, in fact, even much more. I knew it was hard to juggle between both but I didn't know things would become this way. For once in my life, it hurt so much. I'm guilty and I feel really bad for making her feel this way. I feel like I haven't been senstitive enough to realize the problem earlier. Now its gone, due to my blunderness. Why did even say those things to v. Why did I fail to talk with h. Totally, I allow my emotions take over my actions, my words. I've failed as a supposedly confidant. It just didn't occurred to me that it would ever hurt this much.

2011-02-17T12:46:00.003+08:00

Time past, people change; including the one dearest to you
I could feel the difference definitely
What was once said wasn't valid anymore
I don't feel as close to you as before
No, not the lesser time spent, but the thoughts you have

It doesn't feel good at all
This foreign feeling makes me scared

2011-02-16T01:57:00.001+08:00

Its 16th of february already! 2am! Ok-Love jinwoon

I admit its not really good to be all over korean idols and all at this age of 22 but well, its my first time admiring idols so much, guess its the overall craze!

Been really into korean trot songs like super junior t's chutcha, no one else like me, rokkugo, park sang chul's mojugeon etc. Just INTO them.

Having so much worries thesedays especially money issues, guess I'm gonna get a full time soon after exams. Whatever's not to worry is being worried & fret upon. Thats the bad part about growing up. When we were in school, we have no responsibilities over anything except the most our own expenses. Growing up suck.

I told myself I never like staying in singapore & maybe one day I'll be inspired to move out of singapore & go elsewhere to work & all. Its good to have a clean start. To be honest, I don't like singapore :(

2011-02-05T00:25:00.004+08:00

Happy chinese new year to all!

Although my cny wasn't anywhere near good but well, life goes on. Lol.

I managed to build a better rapport with my beloved cousins & im really glad. I have been so sick recently and I could hardly enjoy doing anything! I couldn't shout or talk louder which makes me so frustrated because I'm used to snapping at people hahaha. & I'm talking out of tune so much that I'm keeping quiet a lot.

Big pig is still in malaysia, eating once every two hours. Scary. He called me using prepaid m'sia card, damn ex. I have many small big bird, medium big bird and big big bird. Heheeee.

2011-01-28T23:52:00.002+08:00

Chinese new year is barely a week away! Baby's going back on tuesday. It's gonna be a lonely festive season. But well, I've been lonely always so I guess I'm pretty much used to it.

I had fun with poly people, indeed I had most fun during then. The clubs or not times, the times where we were growing up & very ignorant. These memories are priceless for me.

The constant cursings never once cease & I suspect there's a monster in her. The ugly words kept coming out even when I adviced. Now don't ask why I scold people CHAO JI BYE because my mother do & will never stop.

To me, all I ask for is a peaceful family & great health to all.

2011-01-23T22:51:00.002+08:00

Two days of hardcore scrubbing the floors, I think I make a good housewife~!
Fever came and I felt totally horrible

It's 11pm & I gotta sleep! 8.30am lesson again
I love school but not on my lazy days
Like I have a hardworking day, but still...

How I wish you have a day for me, at least...

2011-01-20T00:20:00.002+08:00

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold that it froze and fell onto the ground onto the large field. While it was lying there, a cow came over and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay in the pile of cow dung, it began to realised how warm it was feeling. The dung was actually thawing him out! It lay there all warm and happy. Being happy, it began to sing for joy. A passing bird singing and came to investigate. It followed the singing and discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung. Quickly, the cat dug the bird out and ate it.

Moral of the story:

Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
Not everyone who get you out of shits is your friend
And when you're in deep shit, its best to keep your mouth shut!

It was a lame short story but I find it interesting somehow or rather

There are certain things I need to change about myself to make both of us feel better. I need to be less possessive. I'm trying to be. I haven't got anyone else, thats why he's my everything. I couldn't empathise how important family is because mine's falling apart. But I get it, let us all focus on what's important in life now. I won't be sticky anymore.

2011-01-18T12:38:00.003+08:00

I never expected junior hew to be so cute! Sherry likes!

As we grow up, too many things changes. Looking back, it was fun to be an 18 years old kid, partying, playing & being ignorant. The stress of being an adult now is that I feel 100% responsible for every single thing I do. When we were young, we hoped to grow up fast, now that I'm older, how I wish 21st never come...My mom said I looked older now, I didn't realised its obvious on my face.

I used to be a real messy person as I love sleeping till I'm left with a little time to prepare to go out. But recently I'm up really early, planning big bird's engagement party & listening to soft soothing songs. It's so unlike sherry. It felt as if the past had been eons ago. In fact, its only 3 years ago!

The windy weather creates the nostalgic feeling just well for how I'm experiencing right now.

2011-01-14T00:35:00.002+08:00

He's sick. I'm worried. I thought I could be a hard hearted person

I guess I couldn't do it to him

At 12.37am, my stomach is growling like crazy

Lor mee in the morning till now

The bears on my bed looks delicious now

Dieting is a horrible activity

Anyway, I told mom about korean bbq chicken!

She's psyched about it!

Yay! I love korean bbq chicken!!!

I'm craving for shabushi actually...

Food food food because I'm hungry now!

Angry bird makes me real crazy! Okay, back to millionaire city...

2011-01-12T23:50:00.003+08:00

What lies beyond the imagined ocean dream?

Today is our 27 months, but you forgot about it
It's always because of work
made a promise to myself I'll make the right priorities
used to anticipate your text, but not now
because its always two words now, "oh okay"
The turbulence is somewhat you can't feel
My heart feels really empty without you

but its okay, I'll get used to it somehow

2011-01-12T00:06:00.003+08:00

I said I would do some econs - I did. I copied the whole tutorial because my printer is down. Ah, someday I gotta stop lying to myself that I did.

I admire T.O.P a lot. For some reason, I really do.

Oh hell! It's a 8.30 lesson tomorrow...

Dreads, I hope wednesdays never come

But it still will, it is coming, it came.

Everytime I on my itouch, its facebook & angry birds

It's simply irritating when people meet me

they ask for my itouch

Erm, so you meet me for what ah?

5.5 hours left, good night bear bear. Annyong~

2011-01-10T11:35:00.002+08:00

Dear Mdm Wrath, stop hurling abuses at me or I'll seriously give u one tight slap which might send you to hell. If I'm going psychotic because of you, I'll charge at you with a parang. You totally have no fucking idea how much cognitive energy I'm wasting to pacify you. But I lived with an atomic bomb for 21 years. Every single minute is stress. I'm finding myself such a boring friend if I keep telling them about you. Forget about filial piety, you created me, but you destroyed everything that I ever wanted in life. Love, kinship, loving family. You're not the typical fierce mother but a total monster. I mean what I say.

2011-01-10T00:13:00.002+08:00

Today is an emo day

I have 3 main goals now. I'll put aside what's to be focused in my later years and do the necessary ones now. Good & sweet life isn't mine to take. I surrender myself to fate. The thoughts of it made me feel really empty but I'll work hard to make the changes. We'll succeed, we will. Let us all work towards success! Cheers!

2011-01-05T00:03:00.003+08:00

New year resolutions:

Slim down & kill those superficial men
Earn & save money to beautify myself
Get first class honours for all subjects
Look damn hot & sexy so men drool & knock onto poles
Forever young looking

Hahaha, how's my resolutions? Met some superficial guys & am feeling insulted since I'm short & round. Damn! Luckily piggy is sweet to me despite my especially round body.

I hope I'll be able to plan time well & arrange regular meet ups with my friends because I love them actually. Birthdays coming up & I'm so wrecking my brains on what to get. School term started & I'm feeling really youthful because I am a student!

Piggy paid for Body Shop's body butter & a 2011 pretty organiser for me. I love both to the max because its really colourful. My brother's getting engaged & I'm thrilled as I get to dress up be the organiser for the first time! Life is good now :D

2010-12-28T17:23:00.002+08:00

Laptop's wireless "thing" is faulty, whats the use of a laptop without internet & basic Microsoft word and the disc player is never better than anything.

Life is about earning & spending money...

I love him as much as I'm afraid to lose him.

2010-12-14T23:55:00.002+08:00

Repeat mode:
Tell me goodbye - bigbang
Beautiful hangover - bigbang
Persona - kangta
Candy - h.o.t

Simply do not wish for a lifeless routine
Inspired by some random subjects
Esap makes me analyse too much
It makes me a happier person, generally

but staying at home is beyond hell
i don't want such a life, be normal & I'll be glad.

2010-12-07T22:54:00.003+08:00

Goals, perspectives are whole lot different now. What I wish for may not be what I get. Results may not be what we have expected. I find that, I just think very differently from the way I used to about things, and I think the thoughts are permanent, goal-oriented. Let's listen to beautiful hangover & work towards a better future. Yeah, we all will eventually learn to live life.

2010-12-07T00:12:00.003+08:00

I am doubtful of your words.
Never did I once believe that you didn't mind a bit that I'm fat
U got teased, everything I know.
Ahhh, just depressed that I'm thinking so bad about myself
I can't seem to be nice to myself these few weeks.
It's a horrible feeling.

2010-11-29T23:20:00.004+08:00

In this society, the beauty lies on the outside. Is there a restart button in life too?

I took so many photos with itouch but its not uploading well. Getting teased by a 12 year old isn't making me feel pleasant at all. She made me feel really bad, thanks. I wanna escape from the society badly. The fats on my body are accumulating, they wouldn't go. I feel desperate. It makes me really sad. I think its embarrassing to be spotted beside a fat ugly goose like me right? Which friend doesn't want a cooler looking friend, tell me.

2010-11-24T00:26:00.003+08:00

my pasta was not even half finished D:

Everyday I come home to listen to curses. I don't mean crucio or avada kedavra, long term suffering curses. Worst than voldermort. If you dare to take away every single thing in my life, you shall not live for long either. I can help you acheive half life if you do anything to harm us for your own "rights". I say it, I mean it. daniel has long beak nose, i have fat ass unlike other girls. thanks alot you know? U just splashed a pail of cold water on me, and claiming you look pretty normal compared to us. you hurt me terribly & you act like its a normal comment. thanks okay? please be a more responsible parent and stop forcing repayment and believing those old bitches out there that says we wont support you when you're old. it will happen if you continue to behave in this way like we owe you a lifetime. No we don't. Yes you did well, you brought us up. but we're not money making machines. I'd rather be an orphan. what i need is care and love from you, but you give none but very authorative-like and hope for ours. I was "created" like this, I have your character, I shall behave this way in your presence. A taste of your own medicine. You ruined us, haven't you realised?

2010-11-21T22:14:00.002+08:00

Life is too short to bargain & be calculative over what happened. All I need is to complain, scold & after that I'll be perfectly fine. Just a little naggy. You cant insist to break a friendship over an apology. I can't judge you as childish, stubborn. I don't want to anymore. Usually I lash out at you but I admit I did it, is our communicating method. You do hurl abuses at me, you think I like it? I know its you, I'll act deaf. I tried to forget about the whole issue and text you politely but your reply, "why do you care" tells me that you're gonna rmb this forever & I'm letting you remember. I haven't done anything wrong, why should i apologize. The way you argued your way back is an empty point. Its just defending, not providing sufficient evidence. We know each other so well. You said you deserve better friends and not this, I just wonder if I had ever let u suffer? I think all friends should keep a distance in the future, I don't trust anymore.

2010-11-19T00:41:00.002+08:00

Realisation isn't hard. The tough part is to come to terms with it. Money is everything; indirectly or directly. Money talks. People are living in the delusion that it is not. Who rejects money?

"I could have saved for SS3. I could do it, but I didn't want to try" This statement lies. I explained 10 times about my situation. You never know how it is to be to pay for every single thing of your life without assistance, you can't judge me. Thank u for doing so.

Teachers taught us about "Schemas" we have in our mind is really useful. I reflected and thought to myself that well, confiding in someone is the worst ever situation. We create schemas in other's mind. Culprit, guilty as charged. So from now on, I will refrain from confiding. I have learnt a valuable lesson today. Environment shapes people, so damn true.

2010-11-18T16:59:00.005+08:00

Its a thursday off alone at home for me. The whole day was spent in bed, watched new moon. Couldn't sync anything from itunes since laptop rejects ipod totally. The grass is always greener on the other side. I wished many things else. Im getting fatter thesedays & its hard to change with my growing appetite. Its just me. The lack of self discipline is why I grow sideways. Its depressing me so much but Im not telling people I am. Its just embarrassing. Ive been really quiet thesedays, I dont feel good. Sometimes I wished I could talk a walk in the nature but singapore is full of buildings, malls. No, thats not what im hoping for. Ive always like nature. What is the thing Im good at? Nothing now. I couldn't praise myself anymore. Not even for a good cause. I wished I could talk, without creating conflicts. I just wanna let it out. But now, I wished for some time alone from everyone, the world, I mean it. I feel horrible.

2010-11-12T01:41:00.003+08:00

Kumar's stand up comedy is really entertaining
Watching it makes me late for school. oh damn!
I pray this saturday would turn out fun
I'm worried, so worried
My stomach's rumbling, did anyone hear that?
Looking at yellow bird like its a meal, gosh...

happy 25 months baby. i love you.

I can't go for ss3 nao. terribly upset.

the fingers just couldn't stop clicking on catch up tv.
its its old "Ai" that i kept watching. That reminds me of drake,
the shixian look-alike
oh yey, i met jeremy oh just now. Dread it. He might question me
my size. I'm a timid person. ah, nvm, good night.

2010-11-05T01:00:00.002+08:00

i hate what i'm seeing on youtube on slaughtering chickens
it seems to say the chickens were tortured
i promise to eat less chickens, i really do
concord tmr, yucks. money yay
watched harrypotter&half blood prince from technician came, to technician left
poor bloke, i didn't bother talking to him

Only 18 confirmed guests, guess i'm a loner tsk tsk
I realised that cold hard cash is tough

I need a break from all work
Probably I need fun
Where's fun when you're 21, ready to make a mark in life?

Parade

2010-11-02T23:32:00.005+08:00

For the first time, I am damn early for an "appointment". The people who were supposed to meet us at the MRT were almost an hour late & I was an hour early. Imagine waiting for 2 hours? I almost went crazy. Fruity's slow march was a good job & the upfront view was fantastic. I took several pictures but he said we might be charged putting pictures on net of the camp itself. *grumbles*

The camera we got for ho ho was a good one! I borrowed from her today for fruity's parade as my camera spoilt :( and practically camwhore~! It felt really good but I ran out of poses.

I hope my hair would be brighter! I guess I would dye again the same colour to get a lighter effect. This colour is boring isn't it?

I don't like to be in a "cold war" with you over nothing. But I would't make the first move because I felt that whatever I have done has not caused problems somehow. But I am sorry I had to do that. I feel slightly better today. Maybe its really period.

2010-10-31T22:17:00.003+08:00

i wanna go somewhere with the sun, the sea, the beach
embracing the nature's great scent i never once did
i need some time totally away from my world
to know what do i want exactly in life
cognitive overload, i didn't manage well
why is that as we grow older, our mindset is so different from the young 18?
too much realisation of love, life, friends, society
& how to smile through awkward situations

i want some time totally alone.

2010-10-28T13:38:00.002+08:00

i don't know why
but i'm staring into spaces
breaking down whenever i thought of it
once the tears dried up
i break down again
am i sane?

i just need you to hear me.
i just need a proper answer.
is that very difficult?

2010-10-24T23:21:00.002+08:00

I vow to eat about 1500 calories everyday. Unless I'm meeting baby, slightly more. He practically feeds me like he is feeding a cow. I guess I look like one. Probably a buffalo now.

Timetable: checked & scheduled - why did sim schedule 2 of my wednesdays as 830-1130, 1200-1500, 1530-1830? :S its not a really good idea tsk tsk

i shall stick to my horrible cornflakes diet.

Strictly no fizzy drinks & sweet drinks for sherry. there goes my fantastic cupwalker.

fats fats go away, don't you ever come back. I'm depressed like hell

2010-10-23T23:31:00.002+08:00

Tonight is kpop night. 38's going crazy over it
I'm home looking at youtube videos instead

getting rounder every second
sisi taught me to control calories intake
smack myself if i drink the un-drinkable, eat the un-eatable

I'm 21, i deserve my long-waited freedom
Please stop asking who am I gg out with, where am I gg,
why am i gg out. i don't think its needed

21 is the age of maturity, i wanna breathe properly

i'm really sick of you and your stories
no one's interested in your collegues & how slow they are. i always believe one should be humble & not blame everyone else for own's plight. but you did. every single thing u did wrong, u said no one adviced you. how could it be that all the while u're never wrong. u never repent & said we are helping the "evil bitch". She's not nice, but i don't like to hear you scolding & cursing others every single day. My ears are itching badly. When we tried to let u see the other side of the world, u went all agitated & said no one ever listened to u. we did. everyone did. but u chose to live in the past & wants everyone to feel bad for you. how many years have u left in your life to carry these hatred? I realised that u have done classical conditioning on me. everytime u throw the things around hard, we know u're hopping mad. im getting more and more like u. i have your same ridiculous attitude. i don't want to stink like u. to me, you care for yourself more than u care for me. u are bias, pls don't deny. its damn obvious to me. pls don't treat me like a puppet just bcos u have money. i have to be nice to u if i need money. i nv had pocket money since poly & u would nv give me bcos u said im old enough. its okay,i don't mind. but once, i asked for it, only 30bucks, u threw on the table with a stinking cracked face. whats this! u repeated 10thousand times u brought us up. but after dan's jc life, i could feel that u were reluctant to bring me to poly. emotionally, i never had u. I nv forget how u used to humilate me as a child. i could even sue u for abuse. ur xiemingming. even when u know ur wrong, u remain stubborn & said we offended u first. there's nth for me to talk to my friends bcos im always looking at my phone just in case u call & question me. not that i wanna listen to u. if i don't, all my things would be ransacked, my clothes on the floor, stepped on. u nv knew basic respect. to me, you're a tyrant. i used to be so afraid of u but now i'm not. i've retaliated & got ur curse. U cursed that i would be knocked down by car, u cursed i would die of heart attack like our dad, u cursed everything no mother would ever curse a child. thank you. i don't like you acting all innocent in front of everyone letting them think im the unfilial child. we don't deserved to be treated in this way. i thank u for training me into an independent individual.

2010-10-14T23:25:00.004+08:00

I don't appreciate ballads as much but jinwoon is really sexy. The song got me infactuated & I am repeating the song. Jk made my jaw dropped too. Smexy-men

Today is hew hew day! Officially became flat hair today but no bangs :( (I shall be practical & cut some hairstyle that last!) Shopped around dhoby & had astons. Steak makes me nom nom nom for so long and not yet done chewing. Maybe thats howthey differentiate - quality.

dorothy perkins on sale :)

Judging from the fb nick, it doesn't sound happy, but he said its nothing. How true can it be? I realised that I seriously hate guys on computers. They ignore the world beside them. Or rather, computer is their world. Disgosting!

2010-10-12T00:16:00.002+08:00

10 days in tekong, no book outs made me really upset but well fruity's coming out today! BERRI HAPPY. gosh, so twit & outdated fashion of words.

i predict that today shall be a happy happy day :D

Happy 2nd anniversary baby! Ray week for me!

Ashton's textes woke me up & I am on the comp typing maths solutions to him. This is the best I could do as a tutor zzZzZZ...

The more one earns, the higher the expenditure goes. It so happens to me. Pretty irritating huh? I gave cash monthly to citycab, hopefully someday I get some voucher to compensate my poor wallet.

Minions's "waka" is moving my fingers to replay that scene many times. Yellow cutie. It totally drives me nuts! Right baby?

2010-10-09T01:41:00.002+08:00

Been frequently OO-DERS thesedays & I'm simply eating mao all the time! Dangs! There's assignment on econs & esap. Stereotypes is what is in my book now & tandon says to buy textbooks, what a waste of money. & well, she said that if a teacher has bad expectations of a student, the student is more likely to score lower than the student whom she thought is intelligent. How true is that?

It's gonna be our 2nd year next tuesday! No idea on what to give him yet! My life is boring, can't think of anything to suprise him.

PSLE controlled my life for weeks. Tuitions tuitions tuitions, cabs cabs cabs every single day, no joke. I'm a poor bloke. And all the cab company's reply was they did something to the driver but not what I want, expected. I guess I have to learn to write a complaint letter as powderful as danielwong.

I'm obsessed with talking with my bears, do u believe it?

2010-09-26T13:59:00.005+08:00

ops duty ops duty ops duty!

school's been rather smooth for the week & im picking up better habits now. I can't believe that my laptop is sick &I have to reformat it! I wanna play millionaire city & chat on msn!

"Crass, are you crear?" & I'm so seeing him every week. But I agree he's good afterall. Except asking us about "brue" or "brack" line! If I had a friend beside me I'd have laughed my ass off.

everytime i'm on the bus, i sleep from the first few stops to the last few stops. i wonder how would i have not enough sleep?

what hamster ong said makes sense to me now, "it isnt that we underestimate uol, we overestimate our own ability" well, there's a slight difference. the problem lies with ourselves when we acheived unsatisfactory results. its starts from "wo".

i'm feeling like a jelly now, arms, legs muscles or fats aching like i'd ran 10 hours yesterday. it was indeed a "great" workout!

I wished i am a millionaire. plentiful to use! yea, one day

2010-09-16T22:59:00.002+08:00

The table's well prepared for a new year in school! I spent like wow few hours throwing stuff around. Lemon's having guard duty so I am so bored. Still couldn't slap myself hard enough not to flag for a cab whenever I feel lazy? I'm starting to save up for ss3!

Taeyang's i need a girl has totally captured my attention for now. Daniel says no to korean songs when i on his computer. He went on to play the oldies which pleases my mom so much.

This weekend's really busy with birthday parties & work before school starts next week!

Had developed a liking to "mogu mogu" drink recently. I'm still having the "no school" mood gosh! It's like i gotta wake up at 6 and leave house by 6.50. Luckily it's 2 days per week else I'm gonna go bonkers! Looks like "Daiso" is a good place to get cheap things, Ikea too! Ha, lemon's still catching my yellow bird each time he comes my house *folds arms* but he wouldn't find it because I would hide it shhhh...

2010-09-15T23:30:00.004+08:00

20th - horrible starting D: but well, its time to work hard
resident evil with b & we had frights somehow, ok I had

current music: shinee - ring ding dong

well, its time to be organized & stop throwing things around the table
its ikea time! i need this & that & this & that!
finally our 23rd month arrived!

i wish to have a clean new start for school, no more skipping
the timetable suck totally. till 1830 daily D:

im chatting with baby on fb, he's hooked on millionaire city, me too :D
i love you, i wanna go perth with you next year!

2010-09-06T14:19:00.002+08:00

Feeling super lethargic right now.

P is the problem, hate the mother of P.

Currently hooked on fb games, and its killing me. I go online just to play games

Udders is a fun place. However I don't like every single of them

It just don't feel good to be scolded by someone younger lol. M.

I'm sick of ice-cream but I still love "Mao Shan Wang" with waffle.

Please love it & talk to hy after that. Tehehehe.

I hope is a really nice song! Everyone's going crazy over kpop, & I'm rather suprised! But I wouldn't discriminate other bands like others! They're mad. Except snsd hahahaha. Because raymond loves their skinny legs too much. I don't have!

Sunday - Brunch, slept at baby's house, delicious dinner. I'm going bloated a bit too much! Alright, thats all. Gonna go ka-ching now :D

2010-08-31T00:57:00.002+08:00

i photocopied my bigbird from my printer. hilarious bird.

the strain we have, may not heal, the crack remain visible
how i wished, non of these had happened
but i feel the ending is near, dreadful feeling
please don't let it come,
please

2010-08-27T11:14:00.002+08:00

on a forum, someone mentioned that a family was afraid that after their child studied in sg and goes back to canada with the singlish accent, it may hurt the child psychologically. That was rude of them to critisise us like that. Every country have different way of speaking languages. It just happened that we always feel that western countries dominate asian countries that we feel that whatever they do, in fashion sense, food, culture etc is the trend. English originated from the west so we thought they are right with the pronounciation and all. Those tw celebrities ought to reflect and think about how they comment on us. Morons.

2010-08-26T00:30:00.003+08:00

Results are out, but the site's down, keeping us all in suspense

grapes says he'll be the support troops these 2 days
he'll be half submerged in water, muddy water gosh~

after durians for dinner today
it felt as if my head weighs a thousand ton

a brand new book, brand new chapter
let the past go

if you continue being a nuisance, you have wasted all your life thinking you're never ever wrong. you are wrong about yourself being right all the time, there's nothing you ever learn.

2010-08-23T14:57:00.002+08:00

Some arm-waving sequence daily has to to come to a stop!
Checked: Spent amost $50 for cabs for 2-3 weeks when I could take a bus if I speed up
Hewy's in fb finally, I'm trying to tweet oh gosh.

Lazy monday afternoon, I slept till 12pm like again ~~~

Can I have 20 hours to sleep per day/night, whatever.
Its like forever that I have things to buy.
Last night at ION was a pissing day. I wanna get that river island bag, should i?
38 & I had so many things to buy. Anyway, she dragged me to acc her
I was really lazy, after meeting hewy for 2 hours.
He's back to camp like again. Hate it.

Currently hooked on: Up & down by Shinee.

sihui is right, eunhyuk is handsome.

2010-08-21T23:07:00.004+08:00

Blue day for me, don't know why. As long as I am home, this is how I would feel. I'm picking up the messed up pieces. I'm fixing it back

Healthy meals today: Lunch: oatmeal, Dinner: Cod steak with tomatoes
There's nothing I like about my meals except cod steak.

Currently listening to: Miss A - Bad girl, good girl

Recently, i've been sleeping till afternoon like a pig daily. Sounds much like a sleepy head isn't it. Well, my new found hobby maybe. Oh yeah, I couldn't stop buying archie comics to keep me occupied during the trips to tuitions. I guess I would buy more next week. I have a weakness for it right now. Can't say much for the future yet.

3 birthday bash to attend. everyone's turning 21. sometimes, i miss the 18 life.

Naneun uulhaeyo.
Geugeoseun eoryeo woyo.

you don't know me.

2010-08-19T00:06:00.003+08:00

relationships happens always
sometimes it goes the wrong way and people get hurt
sometimes the initial reason isnt the reason to get together anymore
love blinds one, love confunds one.
care, concern, love, trust, compromise, patience and hell lot more are needed to make things work. who's done so, relationships are never perfect. nothing is.

environment shapes people, it affects relationships too
maybe its true that people come and go, feelings come and go too
life is indeed hard to comprehend, totally.
complications of love is often unsolved
whats left is the best memories and ignore the rest

mianhah.

2010-08-16T23:51:00.004+08:00

Stop sticking your filthy nose into everything I do. Your controlling is getting way out of hand. No one does this better than you do. I do have half a mind to kick you hard. Literally or vice versa, anything! I am pissed with an idiot. The world's nosy-iest ever thing. I would be a complete puppet if I haven't fought for any rights at all. Money is not everything, and I can earn and feed myself for goodness sake. I am so ashamed of you, fool. Basically, you love the lies that I fed you with. Truth seems to hurt so much that lies are pleasing to the ears. If that is what you want, I shall let your world be flooded in my lies. I have had enough! You are ruining my life, not exaggerating at all. I hadn't grown up in a good environment because you practically forced yourself into my personal space if I ever had one before. I no longer have any heart for you, so well, please sulk for the rest of your pathetic life and reflect. I am fat but I do not see any other person getting scolded so badly because of that. Your mouth ought to sewed up because you wouldn't stop hurling abuses and curses. Every of my friend do not believe how monstrous you are. People thinks I am being paranoid. I could file a lawsuit against you for child abuse. I just wanna live a peaceful life for now, I don't wanna be attacked physically again. Its not easy to pick up the pieces. That is the reason why you are still alive. You ought to use your brains a little and stop thinking you are so great just because you brought us up. You took away every little that matters to me and invaded my privacy. Sorry, I am not the little puppet you used to manipulate. Please wake up and stop dreaming.

2010-08-14T11:09:00.002+08:00

I can't wait for "flower bouquet" to be subbed
I have this thing with denim recently
Orchard was filled with yog cheers yesterday
Even though its lame, pck the movie made me laughed so much

Hmmm, where shall we go today?
I wanna dress well, present myself well again
I hope I can do that
I wanna feel better about myself
Right bear?

2010-08-13T10:39:00.002+08:00

Its friday the thirteenth
The right side of my head is being such a bitch

I've got you under my skin

Everyone is having 21st birthday bash, but i'm not in the mood for it. I just thought I don't have too many friends. Wouldn't it be funny to book a chalet when it seems like I am the only one excited about my birthday? Avoid the embarrassment, don't celebrate.

I guess its time to make more friends

2010-08-12T00:07:00.002+08:00

Happy 22 months, my special one
I love you, so much :)

2010-08-10T23:34:00.012+08:00

Singapore turned 45!

A decade more to senior citizen already. Baby is having a week off from camp & well, we took the liberty to use the car and the well-equipped kitchen to cook a wonderful holiday dinner like wth. Sheng siong has many good stuff you know? My family frquents NTUC so im not too sure about other supermarkets. Live crabs, live cockles, prawns - Seafood yay!

I must insist that baby's chilli crab was really fantastic. I need shopping seriously. sherry will not become normal size if she keeps eating! I have a problem now, I kept smelling big bird. Everyone's thinking that I am mad! Despicable me is super horribly cute!

2010-08-06T00:41:00.003+08:00

Before I went out today, I saw a dying lizard. It looked slimy disgusting and a total turn off! I was panicking to to extent that I called my mom for help. I just couldn't help feeling frustrated. Over a lizard yes :(

Everyday I surf the net and I look at branded stuff. It's driving me nuts! Although so, I supress myself! Like mad uh!

She's fake, i just don't trust. Trust who then? My ted of course!

My mind is undergoing a turbulence and it doesnt seem to stop. Results are expected to be out by early sep. Its making me worried, so worried :(

7th month marks the month I get home by 9 daily. Better be safe than sorry. Good night bearbear.

2010-08-04T23:17:00.003+08:00

sorcerer's apprentice is like another lightning thief movie to me
how i wished i lived in the greek times, roman times
baby's in jungle, very sian
the botak didn't wanna take photos with me :(

i dont like you you you and you

have been watching forensic heroes 1 & 2
i told mom i have always dreamt to be a cop
she said its too dangerous for a girl
im considering it after the degree
im serious though no one takes me on a serious note

i talk to bears and bird everyday
am i still sane i wonder?

2010-07-22T23:28:00.002+08:00

Tuition was cancelled so roamed around HGM alone
Haven's felt emo like then for so long
this feeling suck, badly
i want to get back to reality and stop thinking
but i just thought, hey, stop moping around
he called but i didnt tell him what happened
he's got more than enough on his plate
its like i've been shot 1000 times but i just wouldnt die
it hurts

whats on my mind exactly?

2010-07-21T23:37:00.003+08:00

blue blue wednesday
its not easy to please everyone
you, you, you and you
im not here to accomodate everyone
and get ignored

pissed, totally

i wished i could
switch off my mind
be 18, youthful oncemore

2010-07-19T21:45:00.002+08:00

tuition after tuition, totally drained out. was brain dead by 7pm
he's gone for shooting and he got the badge! Clever baby!
telephone seems nice, gaga googoo
i haven't got oh my lady! baby says to finish my other drama(s)

the clock is always at 10 when i wake up feeling good

its good to be fans like elfs
criticisms should be by professionals or less destructive
tsk tsk

pris blog is undergoing hiatus, i must be too free nowadays. nowsaday lol

bonamana repackage & lucifer :)

Annynghi jumushipshi yo~

2010-07-19T00:13:00.004+08:00

inception has a mind blowing plot, its really good
despicable me is still not watched, next week perhaps
quadratic eq is a bitch, just like science
i still miss you, its just a 5 hours meeting!

I'm getting the momentum of it
I'm doing well
i must get the kimchi (repeats everyday till I'm bored)
Monday blues for everyone yo~

whats the next perfume i should get?

2010-07-17T12:31:00.002+08:00

it just felt heartwarming when i ate that cereal
no other is still ringing in my ear
i hope i wish i get my pay on time
im gonna watch a movie later!
super junior hwaiting!
i will roll my ass to marina to get the few jars of kimchi
im so not over it yet
till then, i shall keep eating

oh no, tomorrow's tuition & i havent prepared
statistics, indices, coordinate geometry
its so secondary school, yawns

2010-07-17T01:27:00.002+08:00

predators because despicable me is full
im so watching it tmr
it looks really cute and fluffy?
well, im spending unwisely recently
on this and that but i dont see the things i spent on
buy more perfumes yey
lucifer seems nice but i dont like their hair
oh yey, i found the best place for me buy kimchi
i think of getting kim chi later & eat before work
should i?
yes i should
kimchiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

2010-07-16T00:30:00.002+08:00

new scent for me: elizabeth arden
i think I will get more perfumes at cq central
spent $70 and wanting to spend more
come with me, namja-chingu
we'll go on a shopping spree!

can't get enough of this green tea smell!
cosmopolitan is not nice, hy says it nice
i prefer red bull vodka
red bull gives you wings
it made me burp terribly

2010-07-13T14:54:00.002+08:00

The 21st month. Sunday out with family at zoo was *thumbs up* and I had dinner at home with the family :D Capturing photos of animals along the way which sums up to 174. I got sick of taking monkey's photos actually. $3 per bottle of coke is daylight robbery but we bought it because we were drying up badly. Ice-creams for hew brothers too!

Thw sun's shining too brightly, I feel like a vampire though! He's now snoring away in his bunk and I'm slacking away on my bed trying to read some hangul characters which are bird's language to me. Mom's prolly thinking I'm mad, drawing lines and squares.

Noreul koriwoyo, namjachingu.

행복

2010-07-12T10:41:00.005+08:00

I have a recent obsession with kimchi. Heavenly taste! *smacks lips* Breakfast: Favorite cereal, lunch: Instant kimchi ramen. I never seem to get sick of it after like few weeks. However, I don't like rice cakes. It reminds me of glutinous rice balls in tomato sauce! Kimchi kimchi kimchi!

Life couldn't get better~ :D - Apparently in a very good mood. Haengbok!

2010-07-07T22:02:00.004+08:00

Outfield craze, mad army, he leaves again! F-U-C-K pissed.

Either im busy like a bee or im free like a bird

Song: No other - Super Junior (can't get enough)

I have a dead blog, how boring.

2010-07-05T23:44:00.007+08:00

Goodbye kangin, see you on 2012!

China lady comes knocking on my door to tell me my laundry's dripping on hers. Thats really fussy. Mom told me its a weekly thing. Yawn, stupid woman.

Last weekend was great, waking up next to you for two nights. It almost felt like a dream. How long shall we hide? I hate fearing.

Movies: Ip man: The legend is born, Knight and day.

kate spade, pls come to me.

I wished I have forever to tell you everything I wanna say. Time keeps running out when I needed them, with him.

2010-06-30T12:44:00.004+08:00

Withdrawal

Fever in the middle of the night, texting baby and almost crying. What a bad night. That teaches you not to mix ice cream & fries tgt. My neck's muscle's strained somehow. My head can't turn much, hate it. Why trust someone when they use your secret against you in times of need? They make your heart drop and push you to a corner. It's a secret. Don't trust anyone which had a mind to think for itself.

Teddy bears make better secret keepers.

2010-06-28T22:48:00.007+08:00

Escape trip with hew brothers and it turned out really fun! Cornelius really hated all the rides and only the go-kart and long long slide thing. Too bad, there wasn't any inverter! Well, my cupcake said he would bring me to genting after he ord. Bali next year woo-hoo!

Raymond, kelvin - Somehow this shot made me feel like a wonderful photographer.

Hmmm, what should I say? I have been out of everywhere eversince I had cupcake and I think its time for me to buck up in bringing myself back to reality.

Well, I lost touch of dressing up totally and I hate putting on make up unless I have to meet people. They say guys love it when girls dress up. I think I should tell myself to get a move on and be like last time! Woah, talking about it makes me real excited because the old sherry isn't as quiet as now, not much comments and all.

I promise not to be lazy when i can. I look forward to a hardworking, young sherry again!

2010-06-21T11:23:00.002+08:00

Food phobia week.

Lychee's back since thursday, and we've been eating since then.

Why ah, time is never enough?!? We spent the afternoon sleeping in the tentage we "built" and it was a hell bad experience. We thought it was gonna rain as the dark clouds were forming etc. We ended up in an oven as the sun was up again. Damn SHIT you know?!

Super show 3 - Asia tour, I'm going! Are you?

Baby you turn it up now!

2010-06-16T23:48:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I know I am to used to it that you're always away

My heart pins for you the same

Things happened and I need you now

But I only have cotton creatures till you return

2010-06-12T12:34:00.004+08:00

Happy birthday and happy 20th months baby!

It so happened on june and I hope my plans go well!

Every month we have a little treat for ourselves going this far and this month, it is both your birthday and our 20th months. I am so glad that I never gave up on you and we both persevere on this rocky journey. Although I may get jealous over many things all the time, I just want you to know that I sincerely love you from the bottom of my heart. You know I place pride over anything thats why you seldom hear me talk about love to you.

I love everything that you did, except those you made me jealous

I love the way you would push the hair gently out of my hair

I love our exciting moments especially when we were on our sneaky adventures

I love the way you call me a pig and as if I am the only pig in the whole wide world

I love it when you said you would hug me real tight that I'd explode though it sounds lame

I love how we would order so many dishes and get our stomachs pumped with food we just craved for. But we ALWAYS regret after that. 20 months already, and we're still like that -_-

I love how we know each other's next words, next move to attack. It feels like we have telepathy, its amazing to me

I love you so much baby.

2010-06-07T22:42:00.002+08:00

I have food phobia now, soursop knows why.

A week with him, a week of fun, and the last day we went for a bbq with his familyand we started playing Monopoly cards and well, ben niang very addicted to it ah! Will intro to my kai family so we can play during road trips to m'sia :D

His birthday's coming, I'm stressed over what to buy to make it perfect, hmmm.

I had fever and I worked 16 hours, powerful la, soursop la!

I have to detach the furry friends from me in order not to have asthma. *Ouch* my lungs really hurt, no joke.

I think Prince of persia is fabulous and I wanna watch it 1000 times just like constantine which I watched twice and madagascar twice (I just love the famousa and mat). Finally I caught shrek 3 and I am satisfied.

Love soursop, miss soursop.

2010-05-29T14:17:00.002+08:00

2 days in fact, I would be having my long awaited dosage of apricot love :D

Some friends can't stay, its a pity. Suju is coming, but it was rumoured that many members aren't coming. Then whats the point of going?

Physically and mentally drained brings daily headaches. I wished I didn't had to work so much just to satisfy the urge to spend.

Anyway, I am way too excited now. Apricot's coming back so yeah :D

2010-05-25T18:27:00.003+08:00

I remember how 6, 7 cars used to speed along jb highway to grandma's house. We would jeer at each other over the window to whoever's slower. You used to drive the fastest and grandma's house used to be filled without voices of our laughter. I never forget that you bought us duck meat. My mother was your adviser, I like the way you and her were close. It reminds me that I have wonderful relatives. The road trips were no doubt the best memories of all. It was fun and exciting to be with you guys.

rest in peace da jiu. you're the man.

2010-05-21T12:24:00.003+08:00

10 days countdown.

The nightmare made me cry till I woke up. I could almost feel the heartache and I wished you were here to hug me and tell me its okay.

Comeback soon, you idiot.

It's time for work work work work work again this weekend. I hope I'll strike lottery and don't need to work for life. Dreams do come true! If only I would buy 4d or toto.

Next week is gonna be a busy busy week for me :)

2010-05-18T11:01:00.003+08:00

19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31.

13 days to wait, very eggciteedd...

I cabbed to tampines, I cabbed to tuition to and fro TWICE in 3 days.

Why does time have to run so fast, hey you, wait for me!

2010-05-16T02:23:00.002+08:00

I miss Mr.fiance A LOT

2010-05-12T14:29:00.002+08:00

Knowing the consequences of the failure but no feelings felt. Where have the emotions gone to?

I think I lost my mind, completely.

Where is my heart?

19 more days to your comeback, I really need you to be here to find myself, I'm so scared of everything. I miss you ah boy.

2010-05-09T23:08:00.003+08:00

Baobei fruit sprained his ankle. He said it looks like pig trotters, my legs -_-

22 more days to his comeback :D

Sigh, readings makes me mad, real mad. I guess I haven't practise much on writing since 10,000 years ago. No wonder socio essay writing seems a bit ji teh ji teh.

I bought a blue t shirt for my ah boy, very pretty le the shirt! Oh yes fruit ah boy called me today! Hees! Well, its kinda suprising as the number is filled with "8" and I was hesitant to answer, worrying it would be a china spam call. (I heard rumours about answering china phone calls with bill that month amounting up to 100 bucks)

Alright, burning midnight oil for tmr's paper, gosh!

Panda sher, panda pris.

2010-05-08T23:43:00.003+08:00

A thought have been disrupting me: Am I dressing up much lesser nowadays. Yeah, always in shorts and slippers, not even makeup. Looking like plain old jane ALL THE TIME. Hmmm, I guess I should start going back to the society with baby. Been living in a world of two for too long. It's time to take the society back into place. Durkheim said, individuals cannot exist without society, as society has a constraining influence on the individuals.

I got study sociology one hor! sherry is brilliant! hahaha

Yes yes, 24 more days, miss him very very much. Stupid lemon pig.

2010-05-08T00:43:00.002+08:00

24 more days for honey to come back D:

Next friday, xiaolongbao day with 38 lim.

econs econs econs, hate them, should have studied.

Missing you badly, since tuesday. 3 more terrible, horrible, lonely weeks with only work work work and work. Stay healthy honey.

Giddy came for me recently-daily, idk why he does that. I couldn't concentrate well with 5 hours sleep everyday! How I wished we were back in poly when responsibility isn't our job yet

msn all the time, meet-ups, playground slack, smoke, eat eat eat, everything we wanna do to please ourselves. Now, thats freedom.

2010-05-06T23:07:00.004+08:00

First uni exam, got few nice wishes from ah ho, ah lim and ah teo :D

Fish & Co at airport with bestie and was in search for interchange!

25 more days, I miss you pabo!

2010-05-05T12:24:00.002+08:00

I couldn't keep awake till 0250hours, my bad.

I miss you baby.

I hope you'll keep yourself healthy and good

Shall be waiting till the day you come back to me.

I will consult the doctor if I'm not good.

27 days, I'll be patient, just for you.

2010-04-27T19:01:00.002+08:00

My mind has always been on the optimistic side.
It's not today.
I don't want that anymore
Let's just do things alone
because they're not there when i asked for
maybe im always with bf
nvm, soft toys might be a better option

everyone have gone mad, haven't they?

:(

2010-04-25T22:55:00.017+08:00

Great week last week.

Cycling and away from city life is really a good thing for me and him. Smile! "Chik-chak" - I took 89 photos on that god damn rainy-sunny day. Weird description huh? It drizzled, threatening dark clouds then it shone again. How to cycle like that? I still can't cycle D: (I so need help)

]\\\

On weekends, we watched "Bounty hunter" and "Shutter island". Mangosteen baby hates "shutter island" - "No ending lor!" he commented. It's a movie with man living in denial of his family's incident and having hallucination that he is a hero. I wonder how is he suffering? It's interesting but! -- are stories without proper ending very popular thesedays???

Daiso shopping at 9 is also kinda fun too. I really haven't had another better day than saturday at vivo! Had dinner at "Dian xiao er" with lovely because he's leaving for taiwan the day my exams starts. God damn shit man!!!

I bet life's never better but well, who else doesn't need more time?

He's back in his second home and I am sulking already. Stupid lemon! Lemon and big bird are both YELLOW in colour! Lol. His enemy is having the same colour as him. Hahaha. He'll pinch me for this "claim" I think oops :P

PS. I miss you already baby :D

2010-04-18T00:11:00.002+08:00

I want you to look at me like you've never look at somebody else.

I want you to look at me like I have something that other girls don't.

BB was in the freezer because I thought it was hot. It came out really cold and nice to hug though its barely my palm's size. How mature am I.

Oh! I love cinnamon flavoured donuts :D

2010-04-14T23:32:00.004+08:00

In a traditional chinese family, I thought about getting a tattoo. For a moment, that thought was intensely strong.

A star, a cross, a flower, an egyptian symbol

Well, constraints. Omg, I'm all sociology-minded after that 15 hours of it for 2 days, you say? My mind is about marx's view of power, globalisation! Revision lectures is ***

Study study study.

Fever.sore throat.flu == emo school days.

I wouldn't meet grapes until probably next monday. Boos! I miss grapes so much :(

It rained so much thesedays that cuddling in bed with the favorite bears and yellow one seems to tempting, as compare to long lectures - muscle ache, long hours stoning.

2010-04-13T10:41:00.005+08:00

School seems good to be a conducive place for studying. It reminded me of old poly times again. The time when we seem too excited to stay till 9 plus 10 just to use the computer together. Labs session, singing sessions. Oh gosh, these are worth remembering. I wish I could go back to those times when studying isn't this boring, with the great people.

And so, Saturday night out with pear and his section mates. My first time at haji lane, eating. All lamb lamb lamb so I consumed chicken sandwich with cold fries, so nice. enda went to have their sheesha downstairs but we decided, next time as it was already 10. Ah chew dessert is kinda nice but I wanted the one with durian :(

Clash of the titans is okay la... Not bad. First time I watched a 3D movie, I swear! Became very excited but then, wearing specs, so very irritating. The previous time I watched was Jurassic Park when I was so god damn young, so not counted la!

Wonder why Zeus go and impregnate the queen or something. Greek era is so intriguing! You know you know, no high heels, no hairband, or maybe made of twigs. God, I'm mad.

2010-04-09T00:04:00.001+08:00

I love this song, go listen, its catchy and entertaining. I haven't listened to other 20 over songs that hyun sent me! Too many korean characters. Super junior fighting!

2010-04-08T12:59:00.002+08:00

New york cheesecake from berrylite makes me think of it all day and night. I want that, don't you too pris?

supply and demand doesn't seem to be the right answer for amos cookie, well at least it is to us. Kiwi's busy with machine guns and i'm feeling lonely though i have furry animals on my bed. usually its on the floor by morning oopsie.

lesson till 2200hours and he's gonna be out bangbang-ing with his device :( i miss kiwi :D

ok i know i know, back to confidence interval. fuck stats.

2010-04-05T10:24:00.011+08:00

Last week happened to be a good week :D Thursday, orange booked out and well of course we met and I cooked dinner for him. Till night we watched tv, nothing much.

Good friday, went mandai to pray and met orange again! This pig slept from thursday night at 2230 to friday evening 1800. I reckoned I would be caught trespassing his house so I called him up to open the door for him. I was having difficulty unlatching the lock...with much noise.

Saturday, worked and had a carlton bqt ops chalet - bbq. We reached there kinda late because it was raining and its was cosy to sleep in :p

Of course, the people bbq-ed under the rain with umbrellas. Such a funny sight! lol. A heart to heart talk would be very nice and it made me understand what goes on under that orange head. I am indeed very pleased!

Saw baobao and chatted well too! It's been ages since I saw her. I remember her as my vip partner and our boyfriends were the captains. Hahaha, no one dared to bully us somehow. Shiok.

3 insane girls. Laughing at don't know what. Orange told hy to bbq food for us because we are her shifu and shimu! Lazy! I ended up eating a few prawns and a chicken wing. Was mad hungry at night.

They played dai di. People would drink if they lose. Ohya, dennis's coconut rum is HORRIBLE. I drink and drink and drink and drink. End up: Take this kinda photo. (below) Spent the night out, grumbling stomach D:

Sunday was the last day for orange and I to stick together. We had laksa for brunch. Happy! I was eating way faster than him for the first time. I tell you all ah, bedok reservoir's laksa is seriously THUMBS UP. Oh yeah, saw lim ming lun there and the vendor even went extra mile to please this artise. Not fair! Anyway, this sums up the long weekend's activities. I just hope that orange books out safely next week. But well, its ALWAYS not confirmed and I'm stil pissed though being pissed doesn't help.

Love you, my cute orange

off with their heads

2010-03-30T15:23:00.011+08:00

As the title suggested, last weekend I caught Alice in wonderland. I am pretty much amused by the setting and the nonsensical ideas as shown. Smiling cat, big headed queen, dramatic white queen. Although the critics for this movie isn't positive but still, the movie has been an enjoyable one for me and Rhew.

This actress has done a good job in potraying the queen's character. I love the way she said, "Off with their heads!" It sounds so her. haha. I wonder why she love hearts so much. She's the director's wife haha, but she's good I believe.

Iluma has been my movie-watching ground always

The post would be imcomplete without our photos! lol. So many planned holidays with him. Sometimes an escape from the citylife would be good for all of us. We're all totally engrossed with computers, handphones and all sorts of electronic items.

If only I can have a month off just with baby with all connections cut off. Wow, I do anticipate that feeling coming soon. Am I dreaming too much? People should have dreams so we would work hard for it.

Oh yeah, babes, meet up once every 2 weeks you say? Be sure we will :D

Thanks priscilla for that wonderful durian cake. It was soon gobbled up by my mother and I within few minutes. It seems like we were deprived of it.

2010-03-23T10:12:00.003+08:00

Out of the sudden, fat seems to frighten me. I finally know why I keep getting fatter whereas every other female is getting slimmer. I lie on the bed after eating. No school, so I stayed at home toooooo much. No wonder I get so lazy! Haha, my stomach is so the big that I might fit a baby sheeshhhhh...

I don't wanna opt for XXXXXXL clothes, getting many size bigger undies etc, I'm gonna be an old hag, r will dump me because I get so fat beyond hope. Yes yes, all these dreams are overpowering my mind. Now I'm fucking afraid. Sherry, eat less lays :(

Fit into dresses and skirts that I want to. The wardrobe has a lot to say, I wanna fit into them again

Baobei is away again! He's doing a disappearing act as instructed by the assholes. Come on, you have a life, soldiers do have a life too! You taught them to be punctual but YOU ARE NOT punctual in releasing them. Question is: Are you reliable then?